TWENTY FOUR OR TWO DOZEN JOKES
No 1
MESSAGES FROM NEWLY WED DAUGHTERS
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe".
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good 'til the last drop. Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read "Benson & Hedges".
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size". She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words" "British Airways".
Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
Mom fainted.
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No 2
CAMPAIGNING
While walking down the street one day a female head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the lady.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the head of state.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and see finds herself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before she realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
She reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm on her neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable."
The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
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No 3
AT THE COMMAND
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"SHIT!!!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theater.
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No 4
ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A BEAN?
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water.
In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she ! replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.
The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich flavor and enjoyed the rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they
had changed the harsh environment of t! he boiling water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened ? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a dry spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest ! and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle Adversity?
ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?
Don't tell GOD how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your GOD is!
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No 5
BIGGEST AND DARKEST
A man walks into a whorehouse and asks to have the biggest, darkest-skinned black womam in the place. So the manager says: "Follow me."
The manager takes him to the second floor, opens the first door to his right and there is a beautiful 350 pound African American women. The man replies: "She's not big enough."
"Not big enough?!" the manager yells out.
"That is what I said. I need a women of at least 700 pounds."
So the manager steps back, rubbing his chin, and says "Okay, come back in acouple of days and I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you," says the man.
A couple of days later the man comes back and the manager takes him to the second floor, opens the first door on his right and BOOM there she is, the exact kind of woman he wanted!
The man tells the woman to get naked and lay on the bed spread eagle, so she does. The man stares at her pussy for ten solid minutes, then gets up and says "I'm done."
The manager hasn't even left the room by this point, so he says: "What do you mean you're done?"
"Well you see," came the reply, "I just painted my house black and I wanted to see what It would look like with pink shutters!"
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No 6
SPERM DONOR
A man walks into a sperm bank and declares I'm of royal blood and an I.Q. of 165, I'd like to make a donation.
The nurse gives him a sealed cup and directs him to a provate room.
20 minutes later the man hasn't come out, the nurse knocks on the door. "Is there a problem?"
"I'm so embarrassed, I used my right hand. I used my left hand. I poured cold water on it and hot water on it. Could you help me?
The nurse replied "I don't usually do this but you are kinda cute..."
She gets on her knees and begins to blow him.
"I really appreciate this, but I need help getting the cap off the jar!"
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No 7
BODY LANGUAGE
A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down.
Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.
Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.
The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a bus ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents. Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was going downtown. Then, she asked if the bus was going pass the milk-farm, and I told her it was going pass the ball-park."
The passenger interjected, "Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she left the bus?"
The driver continued, she replied "Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!"
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No 8
SKIN CAN TELL WHETHER A PERSON IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE OR NOT
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
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No 9
MATH LESSON
One day a teacher told her student's to make a sentence using the math terms add, subtract, divide, multiply.
When time was over she called on a student named Johnny he said this is the process of having sex. He said, first you add the bed, subtract the clothes, then divide the legs and hope you don't multiply.
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No 10
PSYCHIATRIST VISIT
Banta was referred to a psychiatrist who decided to start off by testing him word association.
"I'm going to repeat the same word and over again and I want you to to tell me what comes into your mind. Are you ready?"
Banta, "Yes, Doctor."
"Good. The word is breasts."
"Melons," replied Banta.
"Breasts."
"Grapefruit," said Banta.
"Breasts."
"Oranges."
"Breasts."
"Windscreen wipers."
"Hold on a minute. Windscreen wipers? I don't understand."
"It's easy," smiled Banta. "First, this then that one, then this one....."
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No 11
COINCIDENCE
A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a female patron. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.
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No 12
SOME THING ABOUT GIRLS
* If you treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hay"
* If you don't she says "kitna akroo hai"
* If you dress nicely she says "mujhay impress karna chata hai"
* If you don't she says "tasteless hai yaar"
* If you argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
* If you sit quietly she says, "dumb hai"
* If you act smarter she'll lose her brain as you are insulting her
* If she acts smarter she think it's her right
* If you don't love her she says, "Is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 larkion kay saath chakar hai"
* If you love her she says "peechay hi par Gaya hai"
* If you are skinny she says "You should have appropriate mass at appropriate places"
* If you are healthy she says, "You should be smart"
* If you don't tell her your problem she says "You are not honest to me"
* If you do tell to her she says "You are a problem child"
* If you scold her she says, "You act like a NANA giving lecture"
* If she scolds you she says "Yaar, its because I care"
* If you break a promise she says, "She does not trust you any more"
* If she breaks she says "Jaan main majboor thi"
* If you smoke she says "You are a bad boy"
* If she smokes she says "Just for enjoyment yaar"
* If you do well in exams she says "Qismat ne saath diya warna tum or good marks"
* If she gets goods mark she says" Its my brain"
* If you hurt her she says "You are cruel & don't care of my feelings"
* If she hurts you she replies"You are not understanding"
& They claim they are not Hypocrates, Interesting na !!!
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No 13
MAUDE & CLAUDE.....
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen's residence. They met in the social center and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner, and she accepted. They had a lovely evening.
Afterward, Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and, age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.
Claude was thinking: If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.
Maude was thinking: If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my panty hose.
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No 14
MISTRESS.....
This married couple was enjoying a dinner out when this gorgeous blonde walks over to their table, exchanges warm greetings with the husband and walks off.
"Who was that?" Demands the wife.
"If you must know, that was my mistress."
"Your MISTRESS? I want a divorce!"
"Are you sure you want to give up a big house in the suburbs, a Honda, furs, jewelry, and a vacation home in Murree?"
They continued dining in silence for a while. Finally, the woman asks, "Isn't that Hamid over there? Who's he with?"
"That's HIS mistress."
"Oh... Well I think ours is cuter."
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No 15
A NAUGHTY BOY.....
Three boys are playing outside just after dark, when one of them noticed a light on in a window.
Zahid says to Nasir and Asif: "Let's take a peek!" They look in the window and see a pretty woman undressing. Suddenly, Zahid runs away and the other boys can't find him.
The next day, Nasir and Asif see Zahid and ask: "Why'd you run away, you some kind of faggot or something?"
Zahid replies: "No...My mother told me that if I ever do anything naughty, say anything naughty or even LOOK at anything naughty, God would turn me into stone. Well, when I looked in that window I started to get hard, so I ran away!"
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No 16
HISTORY OF THE INTERNET
In early Islam days, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Usman's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.
A Jewish man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Christian Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Eden, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Arabs Home Owner Operators."
"YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began, It wasn't Al Gore after all.
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No 17
AWFUL FOUR LETTER WORDS
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Nasir started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"
"Rahat," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"
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No 18
RS 5000 TOYOTA
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: Rs 5000 Toyata! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Toyota for Rs 5000, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot.
So he went to the lady's house in Defence and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Toyota.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?"
Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Toyota for only Rs 5000?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Toyota and sent him the money."
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No 19
THE LIGHTER SIDE OF MARRIAGE
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
5. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
6. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
7. Marriage is not just a having a wife but also worries inherited forever.
8. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS":
The Engagement Ring
The Wedding Ring
The Suffe-Ring
The Endu-Ring
9. Married life is full of excitement and frustration. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.
10. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
11. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
12. It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of them get MARRIED!
13. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
14. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
15. SON: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
FATHER: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
SON: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
FATHER: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
16. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"
17. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
18. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.
19. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
20. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL. SO ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH IT?
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No 20
GOD'S CREATION
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have You been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made!"
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over here is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's India, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. The people from India are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them in Pakistan." "They will call themselves my soldiers but would always be led by the most corrupt people found there."
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No 21
PLANE RIDE
Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the guy turned to a beautiful blonde and made his move by saying " Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly, and said to the guy, " What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the player. " How about nuclear power?"
" Ok," said the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic, but let me ask you a question first.- A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff, yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out flat patties, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Oh hell," said the guy " I have no idea."
Well said the blonde, "How is it then you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
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No 22
PUNISHMENT
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.
The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.
When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
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No 23
MAGICAL FROG
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream.
So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, "What will be your second wish?" I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"
Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"
I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"
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No 24
WOODWORK CLASS
It was the first day of the school year and the shop teacher was surprised to see a young lady sitting in the front row of the classroom. Her name was Jill and she was the only girl to sign-up for the woodwork shop class that term. The shop teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class, and Jill assured him that she was.
The teacher then said, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"
"What exactly do you mean?" replied Jill.
"Well, what's the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the shop teacher asked.
Jill pondered the question for a moment, then replied, "Well, I can't rightly say I know, 'cause I ain't never been 'bolted'."
Labels: Jokes (18 + only)
